Surprise, Surprise! (IMNC Part 1)

This time last year, I was devastated. I literally felt like my world ended. I don't recall ever feeling such shame in my life. I went from being on top of the world and celebrating a season of triathlon accomplishments to avoiding making eye contact with anyone who knew (which was everyone) that I went to IMFL. It took me a long time to come to the fact that failure is okay, that depression is okay, that not feeling like 'enough' is okay. It took even longer to talk about it. I put up a good front and pretended it would make me stronger, but I was secretly just trying to make sure the world didn't make what I saw seemed like a "first world problem" - oh pity you, you didn't finish a triathlon but you had fresh water to greet you and a roof over your head as you pouted over a non issue - into anything more than it was.

But it was. It was more than a moment in time. It was more than a DNF. It was what I felt like defined me. It was un-explainably awful and it was necessary.  Its been almost a year since I wrote about DNFing at Ironamn, http://www.competersandcompleters.com/2015/11/facing-failure.html, and the pain still exists. But turns out, it was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me...

To say IMFL plagued me for a year is an understatement. After finally getting up enough courage to register for IMNC, it was my everyday excuse to pull myself out of bed before to sun woke; it was my excuse to be socially lame and go to be at 830 on a Friday night; it was my excuse to skip a drink and hanging out with friends; it was my excuse not to clean my house, showing up late to work, forgetting everyday chores...and well, everything else that I consciously decided not to do for 6 months of training. But more than an excuse, it was my purpose.

For the first time in the past four years, I didn't log my workouts. Stemming from an early season race where I forgot my watch, I felt liberated to not feel obligated to time, measure, and account for every swim, bike, and run. I pushed hard. I didn't skip. And I prepared by just working at it. I hit milestones I hadn't before, I gained speed I didn't think was possible, I started to actually look like a triathlete.

Fast forward to race week. Oh RACE WEEK. What a joyous feeling...That is until you get an email 4 days before your 140.6 Ironman Triathlon, within hours of getting on your road, that tells you the bike course has been shortened. SURPRISE! I barely held it together at work. In any normal reality, a shorter bike is a good thing. But for my redemption race, the full distance was everything. Let the panic begin. I cried on the drive home as I went through the other possible scenarios of how to accomplish this race. I really felt like I could never go through this training again. Maybe I'd go to another race in 5 weeks, maybe I'd do an iron distance in the hills for another $600, maybe I'd try and get back into IMFL in just 2 weeks. Oh the decisions. Oh course, my phone was blowing up with opinions and I read all 600+ facebook comments from other panicking racers. All the worry and arguments of social media surely made the decision better. But somehow, I listened to my gut - get it together, race your race, and put a dang smile on your face while doing it. I didn't sacrifice for IMNC for 6 months to quit just because expectations changed. So on to IMNC we went.

By my arrival on Wednesday morning, I still wasn't OKAY with the shortened race, but i was RACING.

Though we got to check-in early, the room was still very tense from the previous day's news. None the less, we went to the athlete briefing to hear how the roads were impacted and hoped they would tell us that it was all just a joke. Not a joke but we get what they give us. Sitting through the briefing was a bit tough but quickly became a wonderful surprise. About midway through a very forceful gentleman stole my mothers seat while she ran to the restroom. I assumed he was a disgruntled racer and thought, I better not mess with him, mom can sit on the floor (sorry mom). But as I looked up and pieced together that moment, it was my uncle Mark. Another surprise, this one, very much welcomed. Just one year earlier, I toed the line with my dad, husband, and uncle, and now I had them all back to help get me to that finish line as previously planned.  With a few minutes of tears and near silent greetings (we were in the middle of a very intense briefing), it seemed as though my upset feelings began to fade and turned into, just another first world problem - okay, you have your health but for the safety of others you will only bike a portion of the original distance - sanity restored.

IronMan!

Excited to announce that I am officially registered for my first FULL IronMan! 2015 is going to be an EPIC year. 70.3 New Orleans, 70.3 Augusta, and 140.6 Florida. Who is ready to train? (Josh, my Dad, and my Uncle better be...they all registered for the race ready combo too!)

Jacksonville Bank Marathon Finish

I've been dreading this post for so long; mostly embarrassed by the time it took me to finish the marathon.  Until recently, I decided I just wouldn't speak of this race; and I knew that with time everyone else would forget too.  But then I realized...I FINISHED a marathon.  That is pretty great in itself.

Here is a look at the day through pictures.

The morning of the race, Josh was in full Christmas spirit and I struggled to keep that smile covering up all the nerves and crazy thoughts going through my mind.

Running through the start line help alleviate most of my nerves and we began our journey.

 Still smiles as we cross the 5K mark.

The sun began to come up and the crowd began to thin.
















At the half marathon point, we were doing great.  Holding steady with the pace we wanted, still moving along and still in high spirits.  I thought I had this in the bag. But as we got closer to the 17 mile mark, my foot started to ache and I slowed a bit...okay a lot more than a bit, I felt like I was walking on a broken foot. And with every step, I got closer and closer to quitting.  In fact I encouraged Josh to run his race, he was still killing it. Josh took off and we agreed to meet at the 18 mile point.  Right before that mark, I sat down with a few cops patrolling the race and said, "I quit."  I even asked them to arrange me transportation to the finish, where I could wait for Josh to finish.  But I could see him waiting ahead and decided I better tell him the bad news before he waited any longer on me.  As I caught up to him, I knew he could tell I was hurting but he wouldn't let me quit.  We argued how close/far the finish line was.  He argument...only 8 to go, we've already done 18.  My argument, it was EIGHT more miles.  But then as all the volunteers at the water stop were cheering for us and encouraging me to continue...I decided to suck it up and keep going.  I mean I couldn't let Josh become a marathoner and not do it myself.  He was gracious enough to stay with me for those last 8 miles as I struggled to even get a mild jog going.

 As we rounded the corner and came into the stadium, you could see the pain in my face as I mustered up a slow jog to the finish.

Not sure if this is a fake smile or a smile of relief that the finish line was in sight.

 AND FINISHED! That was brutal.

Josh finished just before me, so that on record it shows he won.  He definitely could have finished a good 15-30 minutes faster if he didn't walk with me those last 8 miles.  (He also won the "Best Husband of 2012" award that day.)

Barely smiling. I was saying "never again" at this very moment...but I change my mind a lot. :)

Proof that we finished.

Marathon Training

Talks of marathons have been in the air for months now.  After backing out of the Marine Corps Marathon just weeks ago, Josh was giving me a lot of grief.  Although I was disappointed with not following through; life just got in the way and my training was weeks behind, I knew that I was making the right decision by not forcing the race.  However, over and over I have heard Josh say anyone could be a marathoner and that it wouldn't take much training to hold a 14 min mile (most course minimums) for 26.2 miles.   After spending a great deal of my life over the last year and a half dedicated to training (over 1000 miles logged) I was a little offended by his statements.  Not that I am a marathoner, nor do I think I am ready now.  But a lot of hard work, sweat and time go into conquering this large goal and it isn't going to be for anyone.  Yet, he persists that most anyone under 35 in moderate health could knock out a race like this on any given day .

And so the challenge began.  He found a marathon, that is now 5 weeks away, and signed us up.  His training plan doesn't exists, crazy I know, and mine was already in a few weeks (from the previous marathon training and multiple half marathons on my list) so it is building quickly now.  I am close to 40 miles a week now (this week will fall short a bit due to a 10 miler this morning being cut to 5...my body just wasn't having it) and really determined to keep this going so that I can no only finish this race but kick Josh's butt.

Tomorrow I will be running the Baldwin Park Half Marathon as part of my training program.  Paying for a race is practically insurance that I will get in a long run and be aggressive with my pace.  Not to mention it comes with a pretty medal at the end to add to the collection.  This race will mark my 6th half marathon for this year and coupled with a 2 mile warm up will give me a 15 mile long run this weekend.  I still feel like I am a little behind building my mileage for the full but at least I will be better off those who aren't training for the full (boy will I be eating my words if he finishes this thing).